When I started this blog, I wanted to write about Life, and I wanted to work towards making the best life for myself: one that included writing. In the past 2 weeks I have worked on writing for this blog almost every day, but I am finding it hard to finish pieces and actually hit Publish. I wouldn’t call it writer’s block, because I am still writing. I have found myself having a Crisis of Confidence.
Today I took Boy 1 to the Audiologist and then the Ear Nose and Throat Surgeon. Before children, I was terrified of going to doctors. A scheduled doctor’s appointment would have me anxiously making long lists of my ailments, sometimes collecting specimens or journaling symptoms to offer as evidence that ‘I am not a hypochondriac’. By the time of the appointment, suddenly I would start doubting myself. “Maybe I will cancel, I feel better today”.
If I did go along to the appointment, I would field questions about pain and discharge and awkward topics with a polite smile on my face, always using good manners and trying to speak clearly and concisely in the best medical speak I could muster (instead of snot, it was mucus: instead of weeing, passing urine, and so on).
Since the boys came along, the doctor’s office has become my second home. I have been there so often, that I feel comfortable there, and I feel lucky for the support of experienced professionals who also often turn out to be lovely human beings. I now relish being my boys’ advocate, and don’t even flinch when asking stupid questions, where before I would have been too shy. Experience and confidence have been the trick to me conquering my shyness around the medical profession. In the spirit of getting my brave on at the doctor’s, I am going to get my brave on and start to press publish even though inside I wish for a 10 step guide to perfect blogging. I am here to blog/write – whatever you call this – my way to a better life.
So here I am, asking a stupid question: what’s the best way to overcome shyness in Blogland? Do you ever hover over your Publish button?