Babes In Blogland: Shyness and the Newbie
When I started this blog, I wanted to write about Life, and I wanted to work towards making the best life for myself: one that included writing. In the past 2 weeks I have worked on writing for this blog almost every day, but I am finding it hard to finish pieces and actually hit Publish. I wouldn’t call it writer’s block, because I am still writing. I have found myself having a Crisis of Confidence.
Today I took Boy 1 to the Audiologist and then the Ear Nose and Throat Surgeon. Before children, I was terrified of going to doctors. A scheduled doctor’s appointment would have me anxiously making long lists of my ailments, sometimes collecting specimens or journaling symptoms to offer as evidence that ‘I am not a hypochondriac’. By the time of the appointment, suddenly I would start doubting myself. “Maybe I will cancel, I feel better today”.
If I did go along to the appointment, I would field questions about pain and discharge and awkward topics with a polite smile on my face, always using good manners and trying to speak clearly and concisely in the best medical speak I could muster (instead of snot, it was mucus: instead of weeing, passing urine, and so on).
Since the boys came along, the doctor’s office has become my second home. I have been there so often, that I feel comfortable there, and I feel lucky for the support of experienced professionals who also often turn out to be lovely human beings. I now relish being my boys’ advocate, and don’t even flinch when asking stupid questions, where before I would have been too shy. Experience and confidence have been the trick to me conquering my shyness around the medical profession. In the spirit of getting my brave on at the doctor’s, I am going to get my brave on and start to press publish even though inside I wish for a 10 step guide to perfect blogging. I am here to blog/write – whatever you call this – my way to a better life.
So here I am, asking a stupid question: what’s the best way to overcome shyness in Blogland? Do you ever hover over your Publish button?
15 Responses to “Babes In Blogland: Shyness and the Newbie”
For me, it’s giving up caring what people think. I know there will be people that think my posts are fun and entertaining, while others will be flat-out offended at the site of my nipple covered in a pink star (heh heh).
I tell myself: feck it, you only live once! Why be precious about yourself? And, frankly, I’ve spent too many years hiding behind shyness. If you put yourself in the limelight, there will always be a crowd — big or small — that will dig your stuff. I try to focus on those people, not on the criticisers.
That’s what gives me confidence.
Think of it as extending the writing process. To publish just means to read aloud. So I think of blogging as just saying it “aloud.” And am happy if someone is listening.
Just have fun with your blogs! Don’t hesitate to hit “Publish” because chances are someone out there is loving what you write. Even if not everyone leaves you a comment, be confident that what you have to say is interesting and should be read.
You’ll never please everyone. Just trust in what comes out of your brain and hit publish without over analysing. I have had a couple of posts where part of me thought not really sure if I wanted to put it out there (like my mentioning the unmentionables post), but to me, the whole point is writing for yourself first and foremost. It will get easier over time too. I am lucky that in the past few years, I have gone the opposite and do lots of things in life that part of me says I shouldn’t, because to me the regret of not having a go, would be more difficult to live with than the consequences of jumping off the deep end.
Besides, you can always remove a post afterwards, if you have a major change of heart!
It’s all about COURAGE. To do something even when you think you’re not good enough, people may criticize, think you’re stupid or egocentric – because in their opinion it’s not publishing worthy – takes courage. How do you build courage? You just do it and every time you do so you reprogram those brain cells to DO IT. Insecurities are fed when you let the critical little bitch of an inner voice dictate the terms. Courage develops when you tell her to ‘shut the feck up!’ Well, that’s how I personally manage my fears anyway.
Thank you everyone, I am going to come back to this every time I feel crumby about my posts.
Do I ever hover over my publish button? Why yes! I think my drafts folder has more posts in it than those I have published. I find the pieces that I normally hit publish on are the ones that seem to just come to me easily. Boom! They feel right. But sometimes after hitting publish I get that sick feeling, maybe it should go back to drafts.
You have a great blog so be brave and hit the publish button a little more often.
Oh, on doctors. Yes, I love love love my regular doctor although so does everybody else so v hard to get into.
Michelle
I obsess over every typo I make in every post and every comment! (put it this way, I just checked the spelling of ‘obsess’ in Word!) I read and re-read for errors and still worry! But it is getting easier to press publish. I just shut my eyes and hit the button
You’ll get better at it too…
xxxCate
I can definitely relate to your post, and most of the comments (I, too, obsess over typos and grammar in posts and comments!). The more I post, the easier it becomes to press publish (and the time between finishing writing and pressing the button becomes shorter, too!). Not everything I post is great, some of it isn’t even good, but at least I’m doing it, right? Your posts are so great – I have no doubt you’ll be over the shyness soon!
The way I see it, there are two important concepts to master: blogging is a marathon, not a sprint, and reading a blog is an opt-in. So, over time, you’ll develop a group of readers who are truly suited to reading your stuff. Appeal to the people who will be into your writing by writing stuff that’s authentically in your voice, and don’t worry about the people who won’t be into what you have to say. They’ll move along and you’ll be left with the readers you most want to have.
Thank you, so glad I asked because you’ve given such great replies. My readers are awesome.
Good question- I write to an audience that (mostly) knows me- I started mine as a way to document the cherubs and our garden, but also as a way to keep in touch with some people dear to me but not near to me anymore, rather than sending out a gazillion emails. The only times I have hesistated over hitting publish is when I have written about something in my everyday life that people who I come into regular contact with but are not really friends may identify with (ie other kinder families etc). You’re a beautiful writer so don’t worry about confidence, fake it until you make it!
I just pretend that no one reads my blog…cold be true some days. Or decide my words are not important enough for anyone to really worry about.
I rarely save a draft now, if I get time to write it, I just hit publish.
I do wish I had the skills and tools for better photos though.
I wish the same about photos. But I find it so hard to find time to even write, I am stuck with the pics I can find on the Wild Wild Web.
At least 72000 times a week. I know people say just write and publish but what happens in my head often comes out wonky on the screen. I often unpublish posts for that reason and wait for the inspiration to come.
I have decided to set up a direct debit between my bank account and the ENT. Seems the most logical thing to do.