Notes on the journey of motherhood

If your blog makes you sad, you’re doing it wrong

We are now entering a world of no judgement. Leave your inner bitch at the door people.

Very early on, when this blog was a baby, I remember joining a blog hop. Blog hops are touted as a good way to meet other bloggers and generate traffic. When the only readers you have are your Aunty and your cat, this seems integral to grow your audience.

Anyway, I found a blog hop I liked. I linked up one of my best posts at the time and waited for my large, awesome audience to arrive. They never showed! I kept checking that the World Wide Web had not, in fact, broken. I tipped the computer upside down, turned it on and off and still, no love. I felt horrible. What the feck am I doing? I have 3 kids to look after, and I am wasting my time on the internet. This isn’t worth it. I went to the bathroom and started scrubbing it through big fat tears. I’m a loser. Nobody likes me. I should stick to bathrooms.

Then Mr Karen told me I needed to get back on my pony. After a cuddle and a pep talk, I decided I was going to crack this little nut if I had to run over it with my car. Cue brainstorming session.

Maybe I needed to have a bigger voice? Perhaps I should have the loudest, most shocking, attention seeking voice imaginable? Perhaps I should talk about vaginas or poo or terrible things I’ve done to my husband? Maybe I should relay embarrassing tales of horrible things my children have done to animals? Maybe I should take lots and lots of photos of my house and my kids, even though that makes me incredibly uncomfortable?

No. I didn’t want to change my stripes. While I enjoy a good poo joke, I wasn’t going to ‘do poo’ here. And the personal stuff? Well, it was personal. I don’t want the world to see my house, or millions of photos of my kids, or my husband, or my cushion covers. Those delights are for me. They make me. So, my posts would be about life stuff that is important to me. Kids. Writing. Creating. Playing. Wondering. Listening. No potty jokes, no recipes, no cushion covers. Other blogs cover that stuff more than adequately. Besides, I’m not a happy cooker.

Once I figured out what I would and wouldn’t write about, I thought perhaps I needed to put my back into the whole social aspect of social media: visit more blogs and leave lots of comments? I could win the world over by being Mrs Nice.

So I started to comment as much as I could muster on other blogs. I did this for a long time – again, this is what ‘they’ say to do. I put on my biggest, nicest voice, and started socialising. I’m keen to not come across as a bitch here: I’m a very genuine person. I’ve got a lot of love to give, but I don’t give it freely. I’ve never left comments that weren’t true to my thoughts, but sometimes they had a little too much sugar. Perhaps my smiles had a few too many teeth? I was trying really hard to connect, but looking back perhaps I was trying to connect for the sake of connection, despite there being a tenuous connection between myself and that person. And guess what? Many, many, many people never came back to visit my blog, or if they did, they never left a comment. Ripped off, right? I think they only wanted a follower. They wanted my clicks, not my thoughts. And that made me feel a bit precious and protective about who I really wanted to be social with. Because if you’re talking to a wall and the wall never talks back, the game gets pretty old pretty quick.

Truth is, you never receive as many comments as you give out. In all likelihood, you’re spending 15 minutes on your posts and 2 hours on reading other blogs. Can we look at those maths again? 15 minutes of media creation, for 2 hours of socialising. Where’s the fun in that?

After about 6 months, I started to make friends. Real ones. Who have real email addresses and don’t just blow smoke up my skirt. I really like my friends. I think about them when the internet is switched off and tucked into its little digital bed. Guess what? When I add up all the friends I’ve made, it doesn’t add up to 100. It doesn’t come close to 1000. But I still feel validated.

When you write a post and it only gets one comment (from the cat), how do you feel? Do you get sad, or do you take it for what it’s worth? Was it a good post? Did you say what you wanted to say? Was it funny? Was it clever? Did it offer something unique? Did you show a special little piece of the world to itself?

If it was crap, don’t be crap again. Try harder.

The truth is, my readership is pretty much bang on when it comes to people that I would actually hang out with in real life *assuming I had a social life: Hello Saturday night on the couch with the laptop and Bert the Burmese*. When someone comments on a post and I visit their blog, I can usually see straight away something in common. Perhaps music taste, similar interests, same quirky humour. Maybe they like writing? Hey, I like writing too.

Personal blogs that work are uniquely crafted and have an individual voice. They don’t apologise for themselves. If you are always true to yourself, you’ll never have to cry those big fat tears in the bathroom. Don’t stay up till 1am to read blogs. Anyone who expects that of you doesn’t care about you very much. Take care of yourself, be true to yourself and your blog will be your happy place. Your blog is not your job. It doesn’t need you like your real life people do, like your friends do. Don’t let it get too big for its boots.

By the way, I recently changed by profile pic to a happy face (see above) and I instantly got 3 new subscribers? What’s with that? Must be all those teeth. All 48 of them!

This post has been cooking for a while. Hope it doesn’t make anyone cry. This post is for anyone who freaks about numbers. Seriously, it doesn’t matter. Just be you. What do you think? Am I being too harsh here?

65 Responses to “If your blog makes you sad, you’re doing it wrong”

  1. Di Temperley

    Hi! I’ve only just found your blog in the past few days, so sorry for lurking and not introducing myself! I love writing but don’t have a blog, just enjoy reading worthwhile ones, like yours.

    Reply
  2. Green Mama

    I get barely any comments (thanks for yours), and I couldn’t give a flying. I do this because it’s an easy way to catalogue my life at the moment and make a record, and it’s an easy way to keep my fingers on a keyboard without a commitment. I get responses though, from people in my real life who I had no idea read my blah blah blah and that’s more than enough for me. Sometimes I read some of the comments on some of the blogs around and I can’t see through all the smoke up skirts- the last few months all the bum kissing has pissed me off so much I’ve culled my blog list. I think you’re far above all the vacuous crap that floats around (obviously me included). BTW love the smoke up skirt image ;)

    Reply
  3. Shelley

    I know where you’re coming from with this. I have tried to cut back on nicey nice comments as I do have a bad habit of leaving xxxxx’s wherever I go. I do try to be genuine in what I say as if something rings true in a post to me, I want that blogger to know. Sometimes that means I hear two sides to a story and can see it both ways. That’s a good thing for me, as it helps me be more open and not Judgey McJudgey. I take what I want from blogging on a week to week basis. I haven’t read any posts this week so my Reader has 250+ waiting. Six months ago that would make me feel awful, oh what a terrible commenter I am! Not now. Blog your own race I say. And I will refrain from leaving you kisses at the end of this!

    Reply
  4. kristy@houseofprowse

    A few different themes here that I agree with:
    * 15 minutes of writing for 2 hours of reading! YES…
    * Am I wasting my life on the internet? YES some days! My blog is not my job!
    * Do my husband and kids suffer? Probably YES!
    * Some days I miss the mark on my posts… but time is of the essence.

    I comment and visit in virtual world like I do in real world.
    A small group of friends who know me well. That is what I like and what I am comfortable with.
    If you follow me you just get Mummy ramblings about living remote and some creative writing….
    It’s more for me …

    Also, imagine how many hits you would get if you did a Vlog!
    I’m hoping to change pic’s soon too! I need a makeover!

    I follow you because I love your creative writing – you have a way with words.

    Reply
  5. Jayne Watkins (@jay_latte)

    I like to drop in to comment, but never if I feel obligated to do so, only if a post resonates with me. Judging by my traffic to comment ratio, I’d say the same is true for most people who drop by mine. I find blog hops to be taxing, so I don’t participate religiously, only if I have the time or the topic interests me and never for the sole purpose of increasing traffic.

    The numbers don’t matter. It’s interesting to see which posts garner the most views (sometimes unfathomable – why that one and not another?), but not important.

    Reply
  6. Michelle Higgins

    I am not a huge commenter or blog reader and this probably means I am not playing “the game” right, but when I do comment I really mean it and if a blogger consistently puts out good material I will keep coming back. Which is why I keep finding myself back at your place. You are one of the most generous and talented bloggers around. I could say a lot more on this topic, but it is Saturday morning and the family beckons.

    Reply
  7. Rhi@FlourChild

    I am a terrible blogger and neglect my blog for weeks at a time, and also go for ages without commenting on anything… so I have no expectations of high comments / followers etc. Too much pressure! I’ll stick to the odd recipe and cushion cover for my own benefit in years to come!
    But but I do always read yours posts, because you write so well, and make me think.. And if I don’t comment, it’s cause I am so totally intimidated by how well you write, and it would take me 2 hours alone just to construct a meaningful comment back!
    x Rhi

    Reply
  8. Tenille @ Help!Mum

    Yes! I feel the same way about blogging. I’ve done the blog hops and got the ‘Hi, I’m your newest follower, follow me back’ comments (don’t like those) and have heard the chirping crickets. I’ve experimented and pitched content all over the place, and have laid myself bare and I’m at the point now where I’m ready to leave that behind and start again. I haven’t posted on Help!Mum in a few weeks; the new blog is developing slowly because I’ve been too busy with the rest of my life. I have missed it though. I’m a terrible reader and a terrible commenter, but I do enjoy it when I get the time to sit down and do it.

    Reply
  9. Francesca

    Brilliantly put. Like pp, I don’t get many comments at all. I too began this blogging escapade doing ”all the things” they said you had to do to ‘join’ the blogging community and attract attention to your blog. I also found myself scouring blogs that didn’t resonate with me because they were popular and, to be honest, I’d end up feeling kind of dirty after all that wasted time reading things that I either disagreed with or did not relate to me or my way of thinking at all. I really tried commenting but when I realised I had nothing to say, I stopped.

    All of which REALLY made me rethink this blogging thing. I thought if this is what it all means, I don’t know that I want to be a part of it. BUT, I love writing, some people (my cousin and her goldfish) tell me that the way I write and what I write really resonates with them and it’s these things that motivate me. I now accept that my blog will never amount to much and once upon a time, I really cared about that. I almost gave up completely but I know that if I did, I’d be supremely disappointed with myself. It gives me an avenue for my writing and this is an avenue that, if closed off, could cause much regret and disappointment.

    I’ve read a number of blog posts which say similar things as yours (although not quite so eloquently) and it has me thinking, why has there not be a revolt of sorts to counter the run-of-the-mill blogging process? This, ‘comment on others blogs to generate traffic to your own’ firstly, doesn’t seem to work at all and secondly, is completely inauthentic, in direct opposition to why we all (some) began blogging in the first place – authenticity.

    Reply
  10. Francesca

    Sorry my comment appears twice. I pressed the wrong button on my gravatar page and it seemed to delete my first comment but then it reappeared! So, now you have three comments from me. Must be a great post ;)

    Reply
  11. Brismod

    What a fantastic post about blogging – spot on. I think when you put yourself out there (in any form, not just social media) there’s a need to feel validated. But it’s a tough road keeping up with the blogging Joneses. After two years of blogging, I’ve convinced myself that I’m a blogger superstar in my own mind. Ha!

    But seriously, I think back to why I started blogging in the first place when there was no audience. It’s to chronicle a story of something that I thought was worthwhile, the social interaction (comments from readers) is the added bonus. xx

    Reply
  12. jodie thompson

    You nailed it! I think that you need to go through that bit where you try to “play the game” to realise it’s not for you, I know I did. Love the new profile pic.

    Reply
  13. Larissa~ My Pigeon Pair

    Hi new reader! Found you via Jodie (Above) and so glad I did! Especially in time for this awesome post! You really need to go and read/view Seven Cherubs. Naomi did a vlog on the same sort of topic yesterday. It is so nice to see that other bloggers feel the same way!!!

    Reply
  14. NeeSay

    This post & the vlog by Seven Cherubs are just what I needed to hear at the moment. Thanks for helping me keep my perspective. Maybe tonight I’ll get to sleep before 1am. PS My cats aren’t burmese but they certainly are good company on a Saturday night.

    Reply
  15. Hayley @ happyhousewifey.com

    LOVE this post! Though blogged a few years ago on hubby’s blog, I am relatively new to my own blogging, about 2 months. I was just having a giggle with my hubby last Wednesday, because I’ve written some lengthy posts and gotten no comments, yet on Wednesday I posted a “Wordless Wednesday” pic I’d taken randomly on my phone a few months back, and got ‘flooded’ with comments (9, but thats flooded for me! LOL). I said… “hmm.. so why am I writing anything?” hehe :)

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  16. edenland

    Came here via a link on twitter .. this is a really great post. I like that you’ve found your groove. And your people to groove with.

    Reply
  17. Erin

    I always enjoy your posts, most often have me thinking. That’s one of the sorts of posts I am attracted to, thought provoking posts. Can you tell I love a good conversation?:) As for comments they are a weird thing, I love comments, they make my day, I read them my husband reads them. I don’t get many but treasure them all. However I don’t judge a post just by comments, a) I have to like it. That’s the most important, and it really makes my day if my husband gives me feedback (he’s my greatest fan). b) Check your stats, some of my continually biggest hits have no or hardly any comments. I’ve just decided people don’t have time to comment but they do read. I do get excited when they share in shared items. I guess it also comes down to, why do you blog, your reason. Oh to motivate comments;) I will check out commenters and have found kindred spirits that way.

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  18. Lucy Mulvany

    Hello. ” I really like my friends. I think about them when the internet is switched off and tucked into its little digital bed.”

    Me too.

    And THAT is why is read yoru blog and nod and giggle.

    xx

    Reply
  19. Yellow

    I entirely agree. Tired of all the sugar-coated love responses on many blog sites. Whatever happened to constructive criticism? One rarely sees disagreement anymore.

    Reply
  20. Jess WhoaMamma

    You have a wonderful way with words Karen, telling it like it is. I’m fairly new to blogging and I think I live in my own little fantasy land. I guess blogging can be different things to different people. Some Bloggers gauge success via statistics, comments, followers, how many companies are approaching them wanting to push their products etc etc. I began my blog because deep within I was resisting my passion for writing. I thought with 3 young kids, it was too indulgent or selfish of me to immerse myself in writing. I should be spending that time with the kids. Blogging was a happy medium I stumbled upon that gave me the outlet to self-publish any little story that was floating about in my head. My target audience? Me. I write whatever and whenever the whim takes me, just for the love of it. And if I get even one comment saying they liked my writing, then that’s special.
    I don’t tend too leave too many comments and only tend to read blogs when there are links posted on Facebook. Maybe that’s bad blogging etiquette but hey, I’m a mamma to 3 young girls and they need me more than bloggers need statistics.
    Keep doing what you do so beautifully Karen.
    (Your smiley pic is lovely) xxx

    Reply
  21. Carly @ My Life in Colour

    Hahaha, I think many of us can relate to this! The numbers game, the need for blog love. I’ve just come to this realisation recently and had a big long think about my ‘stripes’ and why I blog. I think secretly I’ll still crack a grin when my blog connects with someone some where, but I’m not going to do the all night socialising and ‘promoting and pleaing to get it…. you’re right this isn’t my job… and if it were… the pay is lousy! LOL xx

    Reply
  22. Felicity

    Once again, you’re spot on with not only your content in this post but the tone.
    I think this would be a great post for Blogeristas the world over to read and I might just add that there are many times when I read something, nod and am naughty and don’t always leave a comment….although I quite often do.
    I bet that there are many others like me who do this, but after reading this post I’m going to be diligent on commenting on posts like this that truly resonate.

    Waving from my desk and returning your ‘toothy’ grin,
    xx Felicity

    Reply
  23. daphne

    very interesting post…
    i have too, like many i am sure, pondered the FOLLOWERS issue… i am new to blogging but from the get-go, my blog has consisted of true stories… without negativity or put-downs towards anyone. .. and i am staying true to that…. i tell a story, giving readers the gist of what i am trying to say…. my blog looks simple – no ads for me…. i want people to read my words rather than be distracted by sidebar icons…. so, i therefore, am not overly concerned about how many followers i get…… i am writing for anyone who chooses to take the time to read…..
    thanks for the insight…. i feel i am on track and you’ve confirmed that for me….

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  24. Twitchy

    Not too harsh at all! Especially if you consider the large number of comments in agreement it’s generated ;) I get this. I’d feel dirty trying too hard. I don’t cook, I don’t sew, or know how to ‘work’ an outfit. My interests are broad and I stick to what I personally know or like. I’ve noticed that while I don’t get great traffic, I still get a decent amount of comments. Usually from a great regular bunch who get me. I comment often but not out of obligation. I write and share because so much stuff has been locked up inside me for too long, and I’m glad it’s coming out now. As I hope you might also be now, for yourself. :)

    Reply
  25. Mrs Woog

    Just do your own thing and enjoy it. It is my hobby and not my job and as soon as it becomes a pain in the ass, I will do something else.

    Reply
  26. Lorraine

    How well you’ve summed this lark up. I think it is about following our own bliss, and what truly energises us. If others join in, that’s fun. But truly it’s about our relationship with our own thoughts and feelings. Reading your spin has firmed up some jelly-like ideas I’ve been struggling to come to grips with. XXXL

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  27. Rachel

    brilliant! so well said, i love your honesty and yes these are things that have been on my mind too… I blog because I enjoy writing and the people who keep coming back to my blog are the ones who probably would be IRL friends too cause we have something in common. the numbers don’t mean a whole lot but they do kinda make you smile for a bit… then i realised that most of those people don’t actually come back anyway – they really want me to boost their numbers on their blog :) nice, if that’s your blogging intention. the comments mean a whole lot more to me than the numbers – the interaction and hearing what someone else thinks about the things that have been bugging/making me smile/ etc are worth so much more.

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  28. Donna @ NappyDaze

    So well written – you have nailed it!

    Sometimes I get caught up in the whiplash of not feeling like an adequate writer/blogger and wonder why something I am super proud of doesn’t get the response I’d hoped. I’ll never be the biggest, boldest and most revealing blog but I will hobble along knowing that it honestly is something that keeps me sane and lets me indulge in my love affair with the written word

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  29. Susan @ Living Upside Down

    I love your blog but I am terrible at visiting and leaving comments. This doesn’t make sense at all, as I love it when you comment on my blog. Obviously i am extremely inconsistent and more than a little bit disorganised. Perhaps not quite the blog follower you were looking for… :-)

    With the surge of interest, events and promotions in Australian blogging circles, it is really hard to not start looking at your own blog and wondering if you’re maybe not doing it quite right. Naomi at Seven Cherubs has posted a great vlog this weekend on this topic as well.

    Thank you for another wonderful post. I will be returning and commenting more in the future. Promise. :-)

    Reply
  30. Nicola

    Great post Karen! I guess blogging for me does what my journal or diary used to, except I feel I can be more creative and expressive with thoughts and ideas. I used to worry about the comments part and having followers, but now I don’t worry so much. Having two blogs though is interesting as one represents a big part of my life (Alice Becomes) and the other, Nurture the Little People, gives people (and myself) some hope and friendly advise on the parenting journey and I like to be able to share my experiences and how I dealt with a tricky situation, like my Friday post on Disappointment.
    I like your blog, and I like to read what you write. I don’t always comment on every blog or post I read…sometimes this is to time consuming for my busy life. But I try to make sure I drop by and comment on my favourites at least once a week.
    If blogging and writing becomes to much of a chore, or makes you sad or anxious, then I think you need to re think why you do it. For me, it just helps me to clear my head, and connect with some new people along the way, and learn a thing or two!
    By the way, you are one of the winners of the brooch giveaway!

    Reply
  31. tiff

    Followed a link from Susan (two comments up). This is the first time I’ve come here and I like what I read.
    Keep on keeping on.

    Reply
  32. Janet

    I’ve got nothing to say coz everybody has already said it for me … except I thought I’d leave a comment to make your day ;-)

    Reply
  33. Sarah

    I promise I’m not commenting for the sake of traffic generation but praise the lord this gold! I didn’t start until a little while ago and I found I kept daundering past the computer clicking refresh waiting for the little comment button to light up…watching the visits, wondering who the random US visitors were – I realized that I was shucking my kids to check my blog, I was worrying about what my next post would be when I should have been writing an essay or finishing off some work – but I love writing, particularly when it flows out my fingers in 15 minutes and it’s honest and true and comfortable…thank you for reminding me not to take it so seriously – it’s just a bit of fun, it won’t change the world but it might change some little part of me that just wants a teensy bit of time to myself!

    Reply
  34. Kim H

    I loved this post, Karen. It always makes me feel better reading this sort of stuff. Sometimes I feel abit weird about not getting many comments but overall I know that I have my blog for me {and also for my son} and at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter. I have so loved getting to know some really cool blogging people and am totally addicted to this blogging gig. I think I am guilty of commenting too much sometimes. i’m not sure how to balance it as I really want people to know that I’m reading their blog and that they have a listening ear but it does take a lot of time.
    Thanks again, Karen for a really thoughtful post. x

    Reply
  35. jennifersmart

    Karen, you write so thoughtfully and with such integrity, which is why I choose to read your blog. I don’t leave a comment every time I read it, sometimes the reading & commenting becomes exhausting in a daily life that is already full.I considered writing a post on why I’m a mother and not a mummy blogger, but you’ve covered it so well!
    I write what I enjoy or interests me and I hope others share that enjoyment and interest. No more, no less.
    J x

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  36. Secret Water

    First thing I thought when I read this post was how funny that you clean the bathroom as a diversion from the “big fat tears”. Even before I had my own home, cleaning the bathroom always made me feel better and was in fact a key indicator to my mum that something was stressing me out. Strangely though she still needed a bulldozer to get through my bedroom.
    All bloggers have been in that space where its just their gran and the goldfish and for some of us we’re still not far from it! I’ve been having a bit of a forced break from blogging at the moment because of an imminent house move. I had envisaged writing this weekend but I ended up getting sick so have put my sensible hat on and tried to do absolutely nothing so that I have the energy to run a household at the same time as packing up and moving it. The blog can wait and if theres anything on there worth reading, readers will be pleased when I pop my head back into the blogosphere. Quality not quantity is a great rule!

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  37. tinsenpup

    There are so many great points here. Like so many things in life, it comes down to balance – that mythical concept. You’re right about being true to yourself. I try to keep that my focus.

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  38. Ink Paper Pen

    Woah! And check out all the comments you got on this post!

    I don’t visit many blogs at all these days, just the ones in the WoW linky and a very small number of others. I get bored of commenting on people who never comment back. Not because it’s a comment number thing but because I wonder what’s the point of a one sided friendship? There have been times when I have got obsessed with the whole blogging thing, clicking and commenting just for the sake of it, is just silly really. There is a small handful of bloggers I feel a strong connection with (I know you know I consider you one of them!). Like you say, it is people I think I would like to get together with for a chat and a cup of tea in real life. Occasionally I have even gone to text a few of these bloggers…before remembering it’s email not phone calls in these situations!

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  39. Denyse

    What Mrs Woog says … Blogging is a hobby that’s fun for me & keeps me in touch with a world of people I have met and connect with. Where it takes me is ok…the person I blog for is me. I keep me real.
    Btw.
    Your work here has resonated with me & others as has the vlog done by Naomi.
    The honesty from both of you helps dispel the blog myths.
    Thanks so much … denyse

    Reply
  40. Carla

    What a great post! I think that you are really spot on here. To be honest, even though my friend and I started our blog to amuse ourselves and our training group it is so hard not to get caught up in the ‘numbers’ side of things. Once your blogging becomes about growing your numbers, I think it is easy to lose the essence of what made your blog fun to do in the first place. Thanks….this was the reality check I needed right now :-)

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  41. Michele

    I like the new profile pic. This post is right on. Sometimes I still obsess a bit about numbers, but I know deep down it’s really about the writing. The commenting game is hard, but you’re right – you figure out pretty quickly which bloggers you have something in common with and who you want to interact with. I’m still so glad you stumbled across my blog all those months ago!

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  42. Michelle d Evans

    Love this post. I too have made some lovely friends. Makes it all worth it. Xx

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  43. Bright & Precious

    I have just discovered you! And I’m so glad I did. I love this post. I can relate to going through a similar process to you with starting a blog and knowing how to act and what to say (or how to say it). Good on you for being your unique self and expressing yourself so well. :) Cheers, Deb from Bright & Precious

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  44. Sheree

    Hi, I really enjoyed reading this piece & for one main reason that I have been toying with the idea of a blog for ages but haven’t quite mustered up the nerve to do it. I have a lot of thoughts I would like to get out of my head but I also didn’t want to have an online diary as that is not me….I’m not an open book & never want to be (that is for my closest friends). But I guess I don’t have to be, I get to censor it don’t I but also I have thought really will anyone want to read what I have to say, the words that want to get out. Well I guess as you said does it really matter if they dont want to read it….but you can connect with some people that you might not have otherwise done. You have given me something to think about & its nice to read your thoughts.
    Thanks for that ;-)

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  45. vanessawith3

    I have been thinking about the whole commenting thing a lot lately. I am not obsessed with blogging and feel really comfortable that I write when and how I want to. It is a picture journal for my family and not a way to earn money or friends. Having said that I have made a couple of real friends and we now email.
    I feel annoyed if I leave someone a few genuine comments and they have not ever commented back. Not because I want to earn comments, but i find it rude to have a one way conversation. If my style is not for them then I am ok with that, but would it hurt to acknowledge me and say “hi”just once?

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  46. Katische

    :) agree. I just ran a competition on my blog and only 1 person entered….. thanks for sharing, because the best blogs as those that speak the truth, all bullshit spared.

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  47. sannah

    I feel like you have managed to enter my mind and take all the thoughts I have been having recently on blogging, and put them into a coherent post. Thank you! I have been really wondering recently about where I fit, and what I want my blog to be. I love reading other peoples blogs, but don’t like feeling that I have to comment, and yet as you say that is what the advice is.
    I also feel like I should probably be blogging more frequently and/or more regularly, but again, I feel like scheduling posts and pushing myself to get content out just for the sake of getting it out, is just not me.
    And although I would prefer to have 40 readers who actually cared, than hundreds of people following for the sake of following, I do find that it can feel a bit depressing when I have something to say that I feel is important, only to then feel as though I am talking to a wall or cat, but I am coming to the same conclusion as you I think, I think you just got to it first :)
    Thanks for a great post, and really exceptionally timed for me.
    xx Sannah
    (and it seems from the number of comments that you really hit on something here!)

    Reply
  48. Kevin Westerman (@Superdaddykw)

    Spot on. I’ve been feeling very much the same way. I’ve backed away from social media a lot, because I was spending too much time trying to cultivate my readership relationships instead of doing what is important…spending time and taking care of my kids. You know, cultivating actual personal relationships with the people that matter the most.

    Anyway, good for you. Cheers.

    Reply
  49. Bridget

    Your blog has guts, and heart, and truth. That’s why I keep coming back. There are so many slaves to the (blog) race out there which just makes the whole thing exhausting. I don’t want another avenue to feel ‘bad’ about myself because I’m not ‘achieving’! Blogging is supposed to be the exact opposite. That’s what I’m striving for anyway ;) xx

    Reply
  50. Jillian

    Hi Karen

    I love seeing your post pop up in my in box. I often read them when I am at work. It is a good distraction between pap smears, mental health break downs, ear aches, breast checks and centrelink report writing.

    I used to do the blog hop and crazy comment thing. But have stopped as I really had to question my motives. There are a handful of blogs that I comment on now. I am very time poor. Also there were some very popular blogs that I got a bit entranced with and they never, never awknowledeged my efforts. So, I have since un- followed them.

    I am liking the crafty side of blogging as it is another great distractor from yukky stuff that goes on in the world. My own blog is a bit hit and miss, but really it is just for me and my family, at the end of the day. The small number of friendships has been an unexpected bonus.

    I hope you keep writing.

    Reply
  51. seraphimsp

    The friends I have made from blogging and the joy and support they bring me means the world to me. I’ve also realised one important thing. IT’S JUST A BLOG. I am not performing surgery or doing anything exceptional. I write the stuff that is important to me. If it resonates that is awesome. If it doesn’t, that’s no biggie. I love my blog and the community I have there. But it isn’t the be all and end all. It shouldn’t ever be that I don’t think. ” Seriously, it doesn’t matter. Just be you.” Absolutely.

    Reply
  52. Steffani Packard

    Ha! 58 comments…how’s that for a number, miss?!

    The first thing I saw when I clicked on this post was your picture and I literally said yay. I feel so silly about it, but it’s true! After reading your blog for the past few months I’ve gotten to know you in a way I wouldn’t know others because I’m let into your head in a way, so it was definitely nice to put a real face to it. Is that creepy or anything?!

    Reply
  53. MultipleMum

    I am catching up on some reading after having a little break from the internet. This is a cracking post. I completely agree. As I said in my recent post, it is a lot about luck. You ALWAYS write great content and yet, this one has sparked the lurkers to comment. Why is that?

    Reply
  54. Maxabella

    It’s a truth blogiversally acknowledged* that if you write a post about blogging, people will comment. Weird, huh?

    I think what you have to say here is all 100% true and not harsh at all. I just hope that my blog is one of the one’s that you read and think we just might have something in common, something to say to each other. That’s how I feel about you. I came initially came by your blog, ironically enough, because I liked what you had to say in the comments on other blogs. Not too many teeth for me (but then, I’m that kinda gal, really – I’m all about the teeth). But I kept coming back and back and back to read your wonderful writing (you are, easily, one of the most beautiful blog writers going, in my opinion). Now I also value very highly your opinion on things and what you have to say about my opinion on things. x

    * I am so very sorry Jane.

    Reply
  55. Meg

    Thank you :) You have summed it all up so well in the big lonely internet world where we are all vying for each others attention and hoping that someone will stop and be say hello and then keep coming back to say hello. Thanks for baring your soul. I love the rawness of it. I felt like you were speaking my words! I will pop by and say hello.

    Reply
  56. Catherine

    Karen,
    Once again you have the nail on the head with a velvet hammer. I love love love your writing. It achieves exactly what writing should. I hope if you are ever in Portland you get in touch so we can share a cup of tea and chat real time.
    Catherine

    Reply

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