Writing and parenting; or, making hay while the sun shines
Pursuing writing passions while raising children is no easy task. There is no way to get the balance right. Murphy’s Law has it that at the time one is busy with writing, a child will fall ill or the school holidays will come rolling around. This is the position I find myself now; trying to work and meet deadlines with a house full of kids. The answer? Make hay while the sun shines.
School holidays for us means 3 energetic boys to amuse and feed and supervise every day. This means mess and takes time, but the biggest killer for writing is that the boys are noisy. It is almost impossible to do any actual writing until 7.30pm and they are in bed.
When I can’t write, I make. These school holidays I’ve been busy doing ‘research’ for upcoming articles and posts on creativity and education. With my time limited, the key to working through this period is to just do what I can. And this means putting bigger projects temporarily on the back burner.
This week I’ve been busy making origami and ninja stars (above) out of coloured paper, which the older boys very happily collected and played with. On one particularly wet day of the holidays we made salt dough and shaped it into Christmas tree ornaments. This kind of ‘making’ feeds back into my writing because much of what I write relates to children and education. But this kind of play with children doesn’t have to connect back to one’s writing work so literally.
‘Play’ can also feed into writing in many unexpected ways, by loosening up one’s creative muscles. Inquiring play activities that are driven by the question ‘What happens when I do this?’ can help you to approach your creative writing with the freedom and light touch that is essential to creating imaginative stories and characters. And above all, it’s fun playing with children and enjoying their observations and discoveries.
It has to be said that you have to work within the parameters of your children. Louis and Hamish are at an age where painting together, side by side, is possible (6 and 4). If I tried this even one year ago, it would have resulted in tears. I tend to work around Ruben’s naps (he’s 2), because when he’s awake he tends to dominate proceedings. The real trick is not to lose hope. The holidays between terms are, after all, only two weeks long. By the second week of the school term I know I’ll be wishing for the holidays again.
Do you have kids? When do you make time for writing?
21 Responses to “Writing and parenting; or, making hay while the sun shines”
I don’t have kids and still have a hard time finding time to write. I can’t imagine how you do it!
Kids do constrain your hours, but I think many parents who pursue writing are determined to make time to write, and they’re also no stranger to sleeplessness, so getting up early or staying up late to write doesn’t pose as a problem. It helps that I work from home, it gives me greater flexibility with how I use my time. I think it would be harder for me to write if I worked at a full-time job and had no children.
Yep, tricky. Husbands are demanding too! I write early in the morning (before 7) or after the kids go to bed, or when they are both at school and preschool. Writing, studying and even a bit of work…it’s a balance alright.
So true, husbands are demanding! And lovely. And demanding!
I’m finding it difficult at the moment due to school holidays (and flying solo for 3 months). I haven’t had much of a chance to write – my youngest (3) is waking at 5:30am and my eldest (9) goes to bed at 8:30pm which means that by the time I sit down to do anything, it’s late – I’m tired and really can’t focus. We’ve had a lot of outdoor play lately which means that I can sit and watch them while I write – that’s the only way I’m getting anything done
Wow, that’s a long day for you. Thank goodness for the spring weather!
Yes. It’s hard to make time for writing with a child. I do my professional writing from home on mornings or afternoons when my husband gets back from care shifts. It’s never long. Two or three hours at a time if that. It means we rarely have time off together. I do all my blogging and creative work at night because only my creative juices work at that time. Academic writing goes out the window.
It’s great you know what works for you Zanni. When you’re under pressure, it’s amazing what you can produce in that short space of time.
I write in the cracks. I rarely have long periods of time to write, and even then, it’s never quiet! But with five kids in the house, and a husband who is gone for months at a time, it is my reality. I use my reality to fuel my dream, storing away the little snippets of this time with children for use in my writing. It is a crazy, chaotic time, but then, I am a little crazy and chaotic myself, so it works.
That’s a great way of putting it – writing in the cracks. I love your approach.
At a short story workshop last week, a lady asked me what comes first – my writing or my children. For me it is my children. but right now I’m making writing a bigger priority than ever before. It’s the rhythm thing again, don’t you think? Finding one that works.
I find work writing deadlines are always met. But creative work is still finding its fit.
So good to hear Gill; it is all about rhythm, and knowing when to change the dance. Would love to hear about your story workshop. x
I agree Gill (and Karen) my kids come first – its one of the reasons why I work from home. I get really stressed at the beginning of the school holidays wondering how Ill find a few quiet moments but then I convince myself to give in to it you cant plan for creativity to strike.
I also find that doing ‘stuff’ with your kids opens up your mind and I come up with new ideas, and solutions for things Ive been stuck with, in the midst of the doing. Some days are just best spent away from the computer x
So true Sarah, the doing often leads to new ideas or alternatives solutions to problems which seem insurmountable when you’re staring at a computer screen.
Oh and love the pics! So nice to see some at home artwork going on.
At the moment i don’t because by the time 7:30 comes i’m Knackered! but reading this was lovely cause i looked down a time tunnel (my 3 sons are 5, 3, and 8 months) and the future you showed me includes WRITING. YAY!
Wow, you’re me last year. *pats back gently* What a hard year that was. I fought for writing to have a place somewhere between the uneaten crusts and children who won’t sleep through the night. It does get easier. Off to check out your blog.
lights at the end of the tunnel
!
Great post! Actually these school holidays have been the most productive ever. The weather has been good, so the kids are happy to head off outside for a bit while I get in some good quality writing time – well for half an hour at least.
I don’t have kids, but I often find that I write best when I’m busiest because there isn’t time to procrastinate. Plus, (something that you made me think about when I imagined you playing with your children) often when I am doing tasks, there is always a little part of me writing – and doing better than if I was just sitting in a chair to specifically think about my work!
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