That prams and art are not mutually exclusive.

Dear January: You’re Not My BFF

Dear January,

I want to be your Best Friend Forever, I really do. You are so cool and beautiful and beachy. Your arms are long, golden and slender, and I imagine getting lost in your sunny, blonde company for days on end, as foamy sea water laps at our toes and we lounge on the sand.

But my skin is pale and painted with the blue lines of a street directory. I belong in the shade, or underneath a burqa. With my birthing hips and my strong, short legs I should be doing something productive, like pushing a supermarket trolley or digging potatoes, not lying on a beach.

How you can be so lazy and so slim is beyond me: you should be bloated after all the excess of December. You have me eating lettuce and carrot sticks and Diet Coke, only I crave something with more substance.

Everyone wants to be friends with you. You are shiny. You are full of good intentions and promise: when people first meet you, your newness dazzles them and fills their heads up with big ideas and they become consumed by how they are going to change, be better.

But you’re all front, January. You’re a fair-weather friend, full of sworn promise and blue skies. But then days pass and everything looks underwhelmingly the same.

April will be my new BFF: April’s cool weather is forgiving of my foibles, my pasty complexion and my predilection for pasta. April allows for layers, where I can retreat and be introverted and throw witty grenades at the world from the sanctity of my front room. April is all autumn leaves and gumboots, no sand to ride up my outfit.

January, you are a cool, blonde bitch.

{Image credit}

January is a bitch. Discuss. What’s your favourite month or season and why?

16 Responses to “Dear January: You’re Not My BFF”

  1. Michelle

    That my friend was a gorgeous piece of writing. Now you just need to find one of those retro pictures of January Jones from Mad Men. I am with you – give me April any day. Muc h better friend.
    Michelle

    Reply
  2. Green Mama

    I used to love summer, pre-cherubs. Now they’re not so much fun. When it’s pushing 40, we’re barricaded in the house and climbing the walls I long for April.

    Reply
  3. Beau Gamble

    March, because it houses my birthday and the weather is warm, but not January-warm.

    Lovely post — I think I’ll have to subscribe 🙂

    Reply
  4. Seraphimsp

    March is one of my favourite months. Apart from having my birthday in it, the harshness of the heat of the previous months begins to abate. Love it.

    Reply
  5. bigwords

    I love this post, you write so beautifully! I love September for its Spring days.

    Lovely to meet/follow your post, pop over to bigwords if you ever get a chance x

    Reply
  6. life in a pink fibro

    Love this. January is a cool, blonde bitch and not my type at all. I’m April or September. May or October. All the in-betweens.

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro – a fab April post. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Cat

    This is brilliantly evocative and spot on! Also reminds me of January Jones a la Mad Men but maybe I’m becoming too obsessed with Don Draper. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by my place earlier in the week too! 🙂 xx

    Reply
  8. Lucy

    I am a little in love with January, still. I want to be her bestie so badly. She is the tanned popular one from school. She loves me back, but only some of the time….

    October is my true best friend. She is true and fun.

    Reply
  9. The blank-page tan | the rhythm method

    […] January is always so full of good intentions, and then she turns around and kicks you in the nuts. Then when you’re doubled over, guffawing and wheeshing all your shoulda-coulda-wouldas she’s gone with a flick of her straight, blonde hair. […]

    Reply

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